As days went by, she started getting ill quite often. She would be in and out of hospital.
There was this particular time when she got really sick and she got hospitalized for quite a remarkable period of time.
I loved her so much.
I took care of her. I was with her through it all.
I would bathe her, wash her clothes, cook for her, feed her.
I was a perfect husband at 17.
Then she got well and we went back home from hospital.
The HIV Test
When she got home from hospital something told me to go get a HIV test. It was random Check up . …. And guess what… I turned positive for HIV.
As I was going through the post test counseling which I feel there is a gap that needs to be filled, I don’t know if it was the shock or something but I felt I didn’t get enough, I was given two options,
either to start my medication as a early as possible or wait to die.
I chose to die ..
I remembered that there was this particular time when my lover would give me septrin (these are antibiotics mostly used to fight opportunistic infections).
She would tell me that they were to help me gain weight. I was that tiny (0.8Gb).
I didn’t know that she gave them to me coz she suspected that she had already infected me and they were meant to protect me from opportunistic infection.
I went straight home and I confronted her. It was really bad. We had a serious fight.
Infected at 18
My life took a complete turn around. Nothing used to make sense. I felt the weight of the entire world on my shoulders.
I started cursing God. Like how could He allow a 18 year old kid be infected with HIV! How?
I couldn’t think. I felt tired. I felt useless. I hated my life. I went through a phase of self hate and self rejection. I watched my whole life go down the drain and there was nothing I could do. There was no hope.
Going back home
After a lot of fights with my lover I decided to go back home and I innocently told my dad about my status.
I expected Him to be my shield like before but wapi, maybe help me overcome this or maybe understand and give me moral support which never happened.
My dad was really hard on me. He would call me names and he made my life very difficult.
This man hated me I swear but He is still my dad and his blood runs in my veins.
My mum somehow came around and she would support me in all manner. No matter how hard she was affected by my situation and my dads negativity about the whole thing, she stood by me.
Adapted from Ndungu Nyoro…